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Everything I Ever Needed to Know, I Learned from Diddy

1.Have lots of “people.”
Diddy has a LOT of people. He has one person schedule the interview, another person to confirm the time, a different person to call and push back the time, a guy to meet everyone at the door and walk them into the room and most importantly, one super intimidating dude to throw hard looks at the people wandering into the background of Diddy's on-camera interview. I've watched "I Want to Work for Diddy" on occasion, and from what I saw today, it looks instead of just narrowing it down to one person, he should have just hired the whole lot of them. Except for that Poprah person, of course, because she is thoroughly disgusting.

2.One can never be “too sparkly.”
This particular stop on the press junket was held in a dark night club illuminated only by a few candles scattered around on tables and the approximately 8000 carats of diamonds that Diddy was sporting. I thought about asking him if they were real, but the mean-look giver (see above) was still nearby and frankly, Diddy doesn't really give off the “Hey let's joke around and have some fun” vibe. He looked really pretty and twinkly though, and I would too if he would just let me borrow that damn necklace.

3.Vodka is not a replacement for water.
As you may or may not know, Diddy is the spokesman for delicious Ciroc vodka, makers of the amazing nectar that is Coconut Ciroc, for which I have been patiently waiting to hit store shelves for far TOO long. It's taking TOO DAMN LONG, people. Anyway, I thought it would be fun to ask the Diddy if he had any hangover tips or tricks, because it's basically a chronic condition I suffer from. I sort of expected him to say, “gargle with diamonds,” or “Try resting your head on a 400 ounce London Good Delivery gold bar,” but he said something way more shocking. He said, “Responsible drinking means more than just not drinking and driving, it means not drinking too much in the first place.” Whoa, what? Maybe if I spent less time nursing hangovers I could be iced up crazy and hire a mean guy to give people dirty looks on my behalf.
Maybe I'll try it. At least till that Coconut Ciroc gets delivered.

(oh, in case you wondered- I didn't get close enough to smell him.)