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Written by: Ashlan Gorse In college, I wanted to volunteer at the animal shelter. I grew up with Siberian Huskies, Yukon and Klondike, and they were my best friends. So what better way to give back than help animals in need.
At the shelter in Chapel Hill, they had volunteer orientation the first Monday of every month. I was so excited! I couldn’t wait to go and play with the dogs and cats who were lonely, and to no fault of their own, were left with out a family.

So I got dressed after class and drove to the animal shelter. I parked my car, checked my hair in the mirror, but as I reached for the car door handle I was overcome with this wave of sadness thinking of the sad animals who had been abandoned by their owners, these sweet loving creatures who are now counting down their days in a jail, with cold wet floors and no one to play with. I couldn’t move. There I sat in my car hysterical for thirty minutes. I missed the orientation and drove home with tears in my eyes.

The next month, I was going to do it. I was going to go in and volunteer. The whole month I psyched myself up and thought of all the good I would be doing making those animals happy and loved if only for a few hours. I got dressed, drove the shelter. I parked the car, and reached for the door handle… This time I was calm. I got out, locked the car and walked to the building. “I’m doing good”, I say to myself!!!! I opened the door to the shelter to some smiling faces, and that’s when it hits me: the smell of the shelter. Not a bad smell but not good either. Its just fur and bleach. At this I completely lose it. Tears are streaming down my face, I can’t breathe. The volunteers look at me with fear in their eyes, as I look like I am about to pass out. I reach in my wallet, find a twenty dollar bill and throw it at the girl sitting at the front desk. I run back to my car and do a wheel-ie pulling out of the parking lot.

I have to go back. “I’m doing a good thing, I’m a strong person, I can handle this,” I tell myself. So the next month I go, park the car, walk to the building and this time I make it in. I sit through orientation were they show a video of the worst cases they have seen ( I will spare you the horrific details) but I’m okay. I make it through the movie and now its time to see the animals!!!!!! I’m so excited, this is what I wanted. We walk through and see the cats all cute and playful. There is a litter of fluffy puppies who are happy and just want to eat your fingers. Then I walk past a cage that looks empty but something makes me turn around. Huddled in the back of the cage is an older hunting dog. She is shivering and scared, so scared that when I walk closer and talk to her, she defecates on herself. I’m crushed. I know this dog, who is most likely the subject of abuse, will never get adopted. She doesn’t trust people anymore. I feel all the blood drain out of my face, then out of my chest and stomach. I can’t control it. I’m hysterical, can’t breathe and can’t even stand. The volunteer leader comes over and tries to comfort me. She says all we can do is just make their time at the shelter as comfortable as possible. At this I lose it ever more. “Ma’am, we have to ask you to leave, you are upsetting the animals” she says.

Yes, I was kicked out of volunteering at the animal shelter.

Till this day, I still can’t walk into a shelter without crying, I just did it again this Sunday. Now why this story, why today???? Well the LA Times is reporting that Michael Vick is getting an eight episode docu-series about his life and childhood.

All I can say is that I truly hope I get to interview him for his new show, because I have some questions I want answered.
And I honestly hope I don’t punch him in the face…because I really, really want to!

Ashlan