Top 9 Things Not to Do When Drunk

1. Drive

We all know this already, right? Download the TaxiMagic iPhone app, it'll call a cab and even pay automatically, while you hang out the window, puking.

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2. Sign Legal Documents

Especially prenups. Yes, we speak from experience.

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3. Look at Old Photo Albums

Sometimes people look taller and more successful in photographs, especially after six purple hooters. That dude was a total loser. Good riddance.

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4. Scan Cell Phone Contacts in Search of Booty

Sure, there's some fine, fine ass in that phone book. There's also co-workers, exes, parents, business contacts and co-workers lurking under every letter of the alphabet and right now you can't be trusted to know the difference.

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5. Cook

At best, it'll taste awful. At worst, you'll burn the house down. Order a pizza.

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6. Send racy pictures…To Anyone

Unless it's to us. Editor@944.com. Thank you.

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7. Get a Tattoo

www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/810071/ 'nuff said.

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8. Have Sex with a Co-Worker or Close Friend

Oh sure, we've all done it...we'd just never do it again.

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9. Approach a Wild Animal

What's going on lately with all the drunkards climbing into zoo animal enclosures? if you're one of those annoying Grizzly Man types that think you can communicate with nature when you're wasted - go right ahead. The human gene pool is better off without you.

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